Virtus 👊 #006: Legacy Hours: Time's Mirror, Healing Partners, and The Art of Making Each Day Count
Behind every gray hair lies a lesson your younger self needs. And behind every lesson, a choice you can make today.
In this time-bending sixth issue:
What 60-year-olds want to tell their younger selves
A farmers' market lesson about true soulmates
Why student councils reveal more about leadership than boardrooms
The Japanese art of embracing your scars
Evaluating a $14 solution for the eternal beer-saving dilemma
Some wisdom only comes with time. But sometimes, time sends its messages early.
MAIN ARTICLE
Time's Mirror: What Your Future Self Wants You to Know
At 60, you see things differently.
It's not about regret. It's about perspective. And if you're reading this in your 30s, thinking "that's a lifetime away," well... that's exactly why you need to hear this.
The Letters We'd Write to Our Younger Selves
"Dear 35-year-old me,
Remember when we thought time was infinite? When retirement felt like science fiction? When our kids were small and deadlines seemed more important than bedtime stories?
Yeah. About that..."
What Time Teaches You (Eventually)
The Career Trap
At 35: "This overtime will pay off in the long run"
At 60: "I can't remember what those urgent deadlines were about"
The Truth: Your career is part of your life, not all of it
The Family Equation
Young You: "They'll understand I'm building something"
Older You: "I wish I'd built more memories instead"
Reality Check: Kids grow at the speed of life, not at the speed of your career
The Money Mindset
Early Career: "I need to save everything for later"
Later Career: "Why didn't I enjoy it more along the way?"
Smart Move: Balance tomorrow's security with today's experiences
What Changes (And What Doesn't)
If you're young, this will sound strange, but:
Your priorities will flip upside down
Your definition of "important" will transform
Your understanding of time will deepen
But here's what stays constant:
The need for purpose
The value of authentic relationships
The importance of health
The Wisdom Bridge
For the Young:
Start building memories, not just resumes
Invest in experiences, not just accounts
Take photos with people, not just of things
For the Experienced:
Share your insights without preaching
Guide without controlling
Accept that each generation must learn some things firsthand
The Time Paradox
At 30, forty years feels like forever. At 60, forty years feels like yesterday.
This isn't about scaring young guys into living differently. It's about sharing perspective across generations. Because while you can't fully understand time until it's passed, you can learn from those who've walked the path before you.
Action Items (No Matter Your Age)
For the Young
Question your "I'll do it later" list
Challenge your assumptions about time
Start habits your future self will thank you for
For the Wise
Share stories that matter
Create legacy beyond possessions
Give wisdom without expectation
The Bridge Between Then and Now
To the young reading this: We're not here to scare you about aging. We're here to share what we wish we'd known.
To the experienced: Remember when you thought you had all the time in the world? That's who you're talking to.
Time isn't just about getting older. It's about getting wiser about what matters.
What will you do with that wisdom?
Your future self is watching.
PS: Photo by MART PRODUCTION
SHORT STORY
The Teacher, Not The Medicine
"You can't fix everyone, Wayne."
His therapist's words echoed in his head as he navigated the Saturday morning chaos of the Santa Monica farmers' market. Somewhere between the organic kale and overpriced sourdough, he was supposedly learning to let go of his savior complex.
Two years post-divorce, and here he was, still trying to rescue everyone but himself.
A woman knocked over a stack of apples at the fruit stand. Wayne's hand twitched, ready to jump in and help, but someone else was already there. He watched as the stranger - tall, with clear green eyes - calmly helped the vendor restore order.
"Thanks, but I've got this," she told an approaching market worker, her voice firm but kind. "Sometimes chaos needs to sort itself out."
Wayne found himself smiling. It was the first time he'd seen someone refuse help they didn't need.
That was two years ago. Now, sitting in their shared living room, Wayne watched Ann battle with her anxiety again. His fingers itched to solve, to fix, to make it better. But he remembered that day at the market - sometimes chaos needs to sort itself out.
"I can feel you wanting to fix this," Ann said, looking up from where she sat cross-legged on their meditation cushion. "But that's not why I married you."
"Why did you marry me then?" he asked, genuinely curious.
"Because you learned to watch. To wait. To be present without trying to rewrite my code." She smiled at their shared language - her therapy-speak mixed with his programmer jargon. "You're the first man who let me debug myself."
Wayne thought about his first marriage, how he'd tried to be everything - husband, therapist, life coach, savior. How exhausting it had been, trying to fix someone who never asked to be fixed.
"You know what my therapist said about soulmates?" Ann continued, uncurling from her cushion. "She said they're not sent to heal you. They're sent to show you how to heal yourself."
Wayne nodded, understanding blooming. "Like a good debugging partner."
"Exactly. Someone who helps you find the bugs but lets you fix the code yourself."
That night, watching Ann sleep peacefully after working through her anxiety her own way, Wayne realized something profound. All those stories about soulmates - the instant connections, the perfect understanding, the magical healing - they had it backward.
A true soulmate wasn't someone who fixed your broken pieces. It was someone who handed you the tools and stood beside you while you fixed them yourself.
He thought about that day at the market, how captivated he'd been by someone refusing unnecessary help. How it had challenged everything he thought he knew about love and healing.
His phone lit up with a text from his therapist, confirming next week's appointment. Wayne smiled, typing his response: "Still learning I can't fix everyone. But learning to be present while they fix themselves."
Ann stirred beside him. "Are you debugging life without me?"
"Never," he said. "Just appreciating my favorite teacher."
She reached for his hand in the dark. "Good. Because some lessons take a lifetime to learn."
And that, Wayne realized, was the point. Love wasn't about finding someone who could heal you. It was about finding someone who would stay while you learned to heal yourself.
PS: Photo by Katie Salerno
BOOK… A CALL
The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council
By Dr. Kent M. Keith (amazon link, not an ad)
Think leadership only happens in boardrooms? This book flips that script. Through the unlikely lens of student councils, Keith reveals how real power works in the quietest places.
Why This Book Hits Different
Shows how influence doesn't need authority
Proves leadership skills develop early
Demonstrates why subtle changes outlast dramatic ones
Core Lessons
Silent Power
Small moves create big ripples
Influence > Authority
Consistency beats intensity
The Leadership Lab
Student councils as testing grounds
Low stakes, high learning
Real results without real risk
Who Should Read This
Young leaders finding their voice
Managers stuck in command-and-control
Anyone tired of leadership theater
Best Quote for Your Next Meeting
"The loudest voice in the room is rarely the most influential one."
Why It Matters Now
In a world of performative leadership on social media, this book shows how real change happens - quietly, steadily, and from unexpected places.
Action Steps
Start small
Focus on influence, not control
Build coalitions before making moves
Remember: The most powerful revolutions are often the ones you never see coming.
LAUGH LINE
What did the meditation app tell the stressed-out businessman?
WORD OF THE WEEK
"Kintsugi"
Pronunciation: /kin-tsoo-gee/
Definition:
The Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, treating breakage and repair as part of the history of an object rather than something to disguise.
In plain English:
Making something more beautiful by embracing its flaws and healing, not hiding them.
In men's personal growth:
Speaks to how our struggles, failures, and healing journeys become part of our strength. Your scars tell your story - they don't diminish your worth.
Using it in a sentence:
"After his divorce, James practiced emotional kintsugi, turning his healing process into personal growth rather than trying to pretend the pain never happened."
Why it matters:
In a world obsessed with appearing perfect, kintsugi reminds us that our repairs and recoveries make us more valuable, not less.
Remember: True strength isn't about being unbroken - it's about how you piece yourself back together.
POETRY IS COOL
"When Death Comes"
by Mary Oliver
When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox;
when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,
and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence,
and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.
When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.
“STOP BUYING SH*T YOU DON’T NEED.” (MEL ROBBINS) 😉
The Beer Saver's Dilemma: A $14 Philosophy Test
Ever left a beer unfinished? If you answered "no," you're either lying or my kind of honest. But for those rare moments when life interrupts your beverage...
What It Is:
A set of colorful can lids with straws that supposedly keep your drink fresh and fizzy. Think of it as a time machine for your beer, except without the cool science fiction parts.
The Pitch:
Keeps bugs out (because apparently that's a frequent beer emergency)
Prevents spills (for when you're feeling particularly uncoordinated)
Comes with silicone straws (beer through a straw - discuss amongst yourselves)
Four different colors (in case you're running a one-person beer flight)
Real Talk:
Is this necessary? Probably not. Will it save your beer from going flat? Maybe slightly. But there's something oddly satisfying about treating your craft beer like a juice box.
Perfect for:
The guy who takes two hours to finish one beer
The optimist who thinks they'll save half for later
Anyone who's ever wished their IPA came with a sippy cup
Amazon link (not an ad).
Remember: Life's too short for flat beer, but sometimes it's also too short to finish one. Your call, brother. 🍺
ABOUT MENQUILIBRIUM
Why We're Here
Look, we live in a world that keeps telling men how to be men. But real strength isn't about shutting down or toughing it up. It's about finding your balance.
We're not here to sell you another solution. We're here to walk beside you while you figure out your own path.
What We Believe:
Strength isn't the opposite of vulnerability - it's what happens when you embrace both
Growth doesn't mean fixing what's "broken" - it means building on what's already strong
Community isn't about comparison - it's about connection
The Deal We Make With You:
No BS motivational hype
No toxic "alpha male" nonsense
No quick fixes or magic solutions
Just real talk, practical tools, and a reminder that you're not walking this path alone
Join Us:
This isn't just another newsletter. It's a weekly reminder that:
Your struggles are normal
Your efforts matter
Your growth is worth it
Want to be part of something real? Forward this to a brother who needs to hear it.
🤜🤛
Remember: We rise by lifting others.
[Note: The fist bump emoji is part of our brand - it's not just a decoration. It represents the moment when one man recognizes another's journey. Simple. Real. No words needed.]