Virtus 👊 #010: The Courage to Begin: Small Steps, Perfect Messes, and the Art of Starting Now
Are you tired of waiting for January 1st to start doing?
In this permission-granting tenth issue:
Discover why your perfectly crafted plan might be the very thing holding you back
Meet Mark, who learns that sometimes the perfect time is exactly when it feels wrong
Learn how military leaders throughout history turned chaos into victory
Explore the science behind why small wins light up your brain like major victories
Find out why Jack Johnson's beach vibes hide a wake-up call about passive waiting
Pour your coffee and set down that planning journal. This one's for every brother who's been waiting for the "right time" to start living. For those caught between perfect plans and messy progress. For anyone who needs permission to begin - not tomorrow, not January 1st, but right now.
Note: You can keep planning that perfect future, or you can start building an imperfect present. Your choice, brother.
MAIN ARTICLE
The Now You Need: Breaking Free from the New Year's Trap
Take a look at your calendar.
December 14th stares back at you. And I know what you're thinking: "Just a few more weeks. January 1st. That's when I'll start."
I was at the gym yesterday, watching guys go through motions with half-hearted reps. The place was empty compared to what it'll be starting in January. You could feel it in the air – that collective holding of breath, that silent agreement to put life on pause until the calendar gives us permission to begin.
Here's the truth we need to talk about: January 1st is a trap.
Not because setting goals is bad. Not because wanting to improve is wrong. But because waiting for the "perfect moment" is like waiting for permission to live.
Think about it.
How many times have you said, "I'll start Monday"? How many Mondays have come and gone? How many Januarys?
The problem isn't your goals. It's not even your planning. It's the gap you create between deciding and doing. That space where good intentions go to die.
I've been there. Had my share of perfectly crafted plans sitting in perfectly organized notebooks, gathering perfectly good dust. Each one a testament to the art of preparing to live rather than living.
But life doesn't wait for your plan to be perfect.
Your kids don't pause their growing up while you fine-tune your five-year strategy. Your dreams don't hit pause while you wait for the right moment. Time moves, whether you're ready or not.
Here's what nobody tells you about achievement: It's messy. It's inconvenient. It happens in the gaps between plans, in the spaces where real life collides with your carefully crafted intentions.
The most successful men I know? They're not waiting for January. They're not even waiting for Monday. They're starting in the middle of a random Thursday, with an imperfect plan and the simple understanding that now is all we ever really have.
Want to get fit? Start with one push-up. Right now. Not after reading this. Now.
Want to write that book? Open a blank document. Type one sentence. Not tomorrow. Now.
Want to be a better father? Put down your phone and look at your kid. Not after this next email. Now.
Because here's the secret: The perfect plan is the enemy of progress. Every minute you spend perfecting your blueprint is a minute you could have spent building.
I'm not saying don't plan. I'm saying don't let planning become another form of procrastination. Don't let the blueprint become bigger than the building.
The guys who make it? They're the ones who understand that life happens in pencil, not pen. They make plans, sure. But they hold them loosely. They adapt. They move.
Most importantly, they start before they're ready.
Because you're never really ready. Not completely. There's always more you could plan, more you could prepare, more you could perfect.
But while you're planning your perfect start, life is happening. Right now. In this imperfect moment.
So here's my challenge to you: Start something today. Not tomorrow. Not January 1st. Today.
Start small. Start messy. Start imperfect.
But start.
Because the truth is, the best time to begin was yesterday. The second best time is now.
And now is all we ever really have.
The calendar doesn't give you permission to live. You do.
What will you start today?
Photo by Matheus Bertelli
SHORT STORY
The perfect wrong time
Mark stared at his resignation letter, cursor blinking at the end of carefully crafted sentences. Two weeks' notice. Professional tone. All the right words in all the right places.
He'd been tweaking it for six months.
"Just waiting for the right time," he'd tell his wife Sarah during their Sunday coffee talks. "After this next project. After year-end bonuses. After..."
There was always an after.
His phone buzzed. Another message from Dave, his old college roommate: "Still looking for a partner in the woodworking business. No pressure, but thought of you."
Mark glanced at the drawer where he kept his sketches. Furniture designs. Ideas for custom pieces. Dreams drawn in the margins of meeting notes while he sat through endless Zoom calls about marketing metrics.
The drawer hadn't been opened in weeks.
His daughter's voice floated up from downstairs: "Dad! Come see what I made!"
"In a minute, honey! Dad's working on something important!"
He caught his reflection in the monitor – gray creeping into his temples, lines around his eyes that hadn't been there last year. When had he started looking so... tired?
The cursor kept blinking. Mocking. Patient.
His phone buzzed again. Dave had sent a photo: a half-finished dining table, cherry wood gleaming under workshop lights. "Could use your eye for detail on this one."
Mark's fingers itched. He could already feel the wood grain, see how to bring out the natural patterns, make them flow...
"Dad! Please!"
"Just a minute!"
But minutes had become months. Months had become...
He looked at his calendar. Another meeting about meetings. Another presentation about presentations. Another day of trading time for the illusion of security.
His daughter's footsteps on the stairs now. "Dad?"
Emma appeared in the doorway, holding something made of popsicle sticks and glue. Her hands were stained with wood varnish – she'd been using his old supplies again.
"Look! I made a tiny table! Like the ones in your drawings!"
Mark froze. "You found my sketches?"
"In the drawer. They're really good, Dad! Why don't you make real ones anymore?"
The cursor blinked.
Dave's message glowed.
Emma's tiny table gleamed with too much varnish and perfect imperfection.
And suddenly, Mark saw it. All the "right times" he'd been waiting for. All the perfect moments that never came. All the life he'd put on hold while waiting for permission from a calendar that didn't care.
His daughter had built a table with popsicle sticks while he'd spent six months perfecting a letter about leaving a job he'd stopped loving years ago.
Mark looked at his daughter's hands, small and fearless, stained with the effort of creating something real. No perfect plan. No right time. Just the pure joy of making something exist that hadn't existed before.
He reached for his keyboard. Selected all the text in his resignation letter. Deleted it.
Started fresh:
"Dear John,
I resign, effective two weeks from today.
Thank you for the opportunities.
Best, Mark"
Send.
His hands shook as he pulled out his phone, opened Dave's message.
"Still need a partner?" "When can you start?" "Now good?"
Three messages in rapid succession. No perfect plans. No perfect timing.
Just now.
"Dad?" Emma held up her tiny table. "Will you teach me to make a real one?"
Mark looked at his daughter, at the wood stains on her hands, at the future he'd been too scared to reach for.
"Yeah, honey. I think it's time I did."
Because sometimes the perfect time is exactly when you think it isn't. Sometimes the right moment is now, messy and scary and real.
And sometimes the best plans are the ones you make after you've already begun.
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo
BOOK… A CALL
The Art of Action: How Leaders Close the Gaps between Plans, Actions, and Results
By Stephen Bungay (amazon link - not an ad)
Ever notice how life laughs at your perfect plans? This book gets it.
Why This Book Hits Different: While other books sell you fairy tales about flawless execution, Bungay hands you a battlefield manual for the real world. He uses 19th-century military wisdom to crack open a truth most leadership books dodge: chaos isn't the enemy of your plan – it's part of it.
Core Truth Bombs:
Your plan will break on day one
That's not just okay – it's expected
Success lies in how you handle the breakdown
Who Needs This:
Guys tired of plans that don't survive Monday morning
Leaders stuck between perfect strategies and messy reality
Anyone who's ever had life laugh at their carefully crafted roadmap
Men building something bigger than themselves
The Real Talk: This isn't about making better plans. It's about making plans that bend instead of break. About leading through chaos instead of pretending it won't happen.
Best Quote to Drop at Work: "No plan survives first contact with reality – but that's where real leadership begins."
Why It Matters Now: In a world obsessed with perfect execution and flawless strategies, this book gives you permission to embrace the mess. To act despite uncertainty. To lead through the chaos instead of waiting for clarity.
Action Steps After Reading:
Write shorter plans
Give clearer purpose
Trust your team more
Expect things to go wrong
Keep moving anyway
Bottom Line: This isn't another strategy book. It's a reality check wrapped in historical wisdom. It's about turning "perfect plans" into "good enough to start" and "waiting for the right moment" into "right now is good enough."
Remember: The best generals in history didn't win because their plans were perfect. They won because they kept moving when the plans weren't.
MOO-SIC
"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
Jack Johnson
Ever felt like you're stuck in life's waiting room? Johnson's laid-back melody masks a punch-to-the-gut truth about the cost of passive hoping.
He sings the story we all know too well - waiting for the perfect moment, the right sign, someone else to make the first move. But beneath the chill beach vibes lies a wake-up call: life doesn't happen to those who wait politely for their turn.
Listen to this when you catch yourself saying "someday" too often. When you're crafting another perfect plan instead of taking imperfect action. When you need a gentle reminder that waiting isn't a strategy.
Best lyric to hit you in the feels:
"Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs
But Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning loving somebody don't make them love you"
Your morning commute needs this track - not because it's comfortable, but because sometimes the hardest truths come in the smoothest packages.
🎵 Listen on Spotify
SCIENCE BEACH
Your Brain on Progress: Why Small Wins Hit Different
Remember how good it felt to check off even the smallest task on your to-do list? Turns out, that feeling isn't just satisfaction – it's your brain's secret weapon for success.
Harvard researcher Teresa Amabile tracked the daily habits of nearly 240 professionals across seven companies. After analyzing 12,000 diary entries, she discovered something wild: the biggest predictor of a great day wasn't hitting major milestones. It was making consistent small progress.
The Breakdown:
Your brain doesn't distinguish between "big" and "small" wins when it comes to motivation
Each small victory triggers a release of dopamine – your brain's feel-good chemical
This creates a "progress loop": small win → feel good → more motivated → another small win
Real-World Impact:
People who tracked small daily progress were more creative the next day
Teams that celebrated minor milestones outperformed those focusing only on big goals
Work satisfaction jumped 28% when people noticed and recorded small achievements
The Cool Factor: Think of your motivation like a campfire. Big logs (major goals) are great, but they're hard to light directly. Small twigs (tiny wins) catch fire easily and help ignite the bigger stuff.
Practical Take:
Break down big goals into daily micro-wins
Track even tiny progress (your brain loves checking boxes)
Celebrate small victories – they're not small to your neurochemistry
Bottom Line: Stop waiting to celebrate until you hit the big goal. Your brain needs those small wins like a car needs gas – regular small refills beat waiting until the tank is empty.
Remember: Every major achievement in history started with someone taking a small first step. Science just proved why that first step matters more than we thought.
ABOUT MENQUILIBRIUM
We see you.
The real you - not who the world says you should be.
This isn't about fixing you. You're not broken. This is about walking together, finding strength in our struggles, and building on what's already within us.
What you'll find here:
Real talk, no sugar-coating
Tools that work, not quick fixes
Brothers who get it, not critics
What you won't find:
Motivational fluff
"Alpha male" nonsense
Empty promises
Each week, we remind each other:
Your path is yours!
Your effort counts!
Your story matters!
Know someone who needs this? Send it their way.
🤜🤛
Truth is, we're all climbing. Might as well climb together.