Having gone through a divorce a few years back and another significant break up just last month, I deeply appreciate this message. Learning to foster a deeper relationship with myself and accepting the value of solitude as I heal parts of myself that need to be healed in order to be a better partner.
I think the idea of "you'll meet someone when you stop trying to meet someone" is based on a misunderstanding of "try" in this context. Yes, most people probably should not try so hard specifically to meet someone to start a relationship with, but many people would benefit from living a life that creates more *opportunities* to meet someone, in the form of social situations where "compatible" people also open to relationships might happen to be. These opportunities can take many forms, such a church activities, volunteering, Meetups, and group recreational activities. Really, the thing you're most looking for in a partner is not someone else desperately looking for a partner -- it's someone with common interests and a compatible lifestyle, who just happens to also be open to a new partner.
🙏 this is exactly my experience, even to living remotely, not from divorce but becoming an empty nester after the son I raised solo moved out at 24. I’m still struggling with the new friendships but the realisations and awakenings I now finally “get it”.
Wow! What an incredibly powerful piece. Thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing this deep part of yourself. We arent talking about gay men getting divorced enough. This is inspiring on so many levels for my own work. I ended my marriage of 21 years and it was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. Ive reconnected with self, the world around me....life! I have friends again. No longer a slave to being the provider. While I never thought I would end up divorced, I wear this badge with honor now. I honor my sexual self, and will never let another human make me feel less-than, or like a sexual deviant. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing this.
I had the same experience and realization 7 years ago. I can share with anyone from a much better place now, focusing on oneself allows one to show up better and more authentically in all new relationships. I was adrift out there for a while.
Having gone through a divorce a few years back and another significant break up just last month, I deeply appreciate this message. Learning to foster a deeper relationship with myself and accepting the value of solitude as I heal parts of myself that need to be healed in order to be a better partner.
Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom with such transparency and clarity, Dragos. You continue to inspire!
Thank you, Gerald! I appreciate it a lot.
The Self-Compassion book looks great. Just ordered. Thanks.
I think the idea of "you'll meet someone when you stop trying to meet someone" is based on a misunderstanding of "try" in this context. Yes, most people probably should not try so hard specifically to meet someone to start a relationship with, but many people would benefit from living a life that creates more *opportunities* to meet someone, in the form of social situations where "compatible" people also open to relationships might happen to be. These opportunities can take many forms, such a church activities, volunteering, Meetups, and group recreational activities. Really, the thing you're most looking for in a partner is not someone else desperately looking for a partner -- it's someone with common interests and a compatible lifestyle, who just happens to also be open to a new partner.
🙏 this is exactly my experience, even to living remotely, not from divorce but becoming an empty nester after the son I raised solo moved out at 24. I’m still struggling with the new friendships but the realisations and awakenings I now finally “get it”.
Wow! What an incredibly powerful piece. Thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing this deep part of yourself. We arent talking about gay men getting divorced enough. This is inspiring on so many levels for my own work. I ended my marriage of 21 years and it was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. Ive reconnected with self, the world around me....life! I have friends again. No longer a slave to being the provider. While I never thought I would end up divorced, I wear this badge with honor now. I honor my sexual self, and will never let another human make me feel less-than, or like a sexual deviant. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing this.
I had the same experience and realization 7 years ago. I can share with anyone from a much better place now, focusing on oneself allows one to show up better and more authentically in all new relationships. I was adrift out there for a while.